


Phantom Pains: A Walking Dead Fanfic

by tickleddragons



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-04-25 22:13:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14388174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tickleddragons/pseuds/tickleddragons
Summary: Auren is a fighter, she’s had to be in this cruel world. The dead are alive, and roaming the barren wasteland, killing, eating, destroying lives. It’s a world not many could survive, but she has. And in this world, it’s not always the dead you have to worry about. But when she happens upon Kenny, a wounded, angry soul who’s given up on survival, they’re both reminded that its safer with a group. Both are haunted by their pasts, the phantom pains of who they once were still lingering in their souls. And soon, their pasts will come back.





	1. The Blade

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter is setting up my original character’s background. What truly started her journey alone, and how she ended up alone again. I wanted to dedicate this first chapter for development, and to set up future conflicts she may face. I hope you enjoy this! And the second chapter will be coming out soon!

**Day 96**

  
Danielle couldn’t have picked a better place to die. It was a small, country home, much nicer than the dirty alleyway where she was bit. The sun was setting now, just behind them, turning everything in the house a warm shade of orange. It was calm. It was quiet. It reminded her of home, or what she remembered about home. And the most important thing of all, she had Mom, which really made it feel like home.  
The girl looked no older than ten, and her mother- just entering her late twenties. They were practically twins: red curls, dark skin littered with freckles, and tired, green eyes. They’d made it so far together, since this all started. Survived multiple casualties within their group, bandits, days without food and proper sleep. For a while, it seemed like they could make it through to the end. But there is no end, at least not for the mother just yet. But for little Danielle, well, her end was right here on the cold kitchen floor. Tears in her eyes, and a hole in her neck (torn out by one of those- things).  
Her mom was crying, hand over the gaping bite, trying so hard to stop the bleeding. She couldn’t fix this one, even if they didn’t know how these bites work. All she could do now was hold the girl, let her final moments be with someone she loved, all she had left.

  
_I’m sorry I did bad._ She was trying to speak, but it only came out like wheezing gasps. It didn’t hurt, she felt nothing now. Wouldn’t be long. Everything was so blurry, her mother’s sobs seemed miles away, but she could touch her. A hand reached up, met halfway with Mom’s own. It was silent for only a moment, before her mother finally spoke.

  
“It’s not fair… This should be me.” Her voice is calm, despite choking back the sobs. Her child was all she had now, the only family member she truly knew was- okay. “My baby can’t go like this.” She’s not talking to Danielle, despite them being the only ones in the room. Maybe she’s speaking to God, or something out there. She hopes someone’s listening.

Danielle smiles.

  
_I love you._

  
There’s a struggle from the girl as she’s sent into a coughing fit, trying to take in just one more breath. “No, no nono no-,” her mother sobs, pulling her into her chest, rocking on the cold floor. “Not yet, not- “  
It’s quiet now, the coughing’s stopped. The mother’s lips press tight against her teeth, a shaking hand reaching up in fear to the girl’s mouth. There’s no any sign of breathing, she’s gone. And she cries. No mother should bury their child, she thought. But life didn’t choose between the children or the parents, and death waited for no one. Just a little longer, she told herself, just a little longer to say goodbye, to let go. But she’d never truly let go.

  
_‘Auren, the brain—’_

A voice echoed in her head, from only weeks ago. A familiar voice, who suffered the same fate as poor little Danielle. A woman, who was once seen as a close friend, explaining just how the dead came back.

  
_‘You have to destroy the brain, or else- they come back as those things. Just a bullet to the temple, or a knife.’_

She can see her friend now, Lorena, with her kind eyes and deepened frown. Auren knew what she had to do. Lorena knew…

  
With a pained heart, the mother gently settled her daughter to the floor, a once white tile now stained a deep red. Tired eyes closed, a hesitant hand reaching for the knife in her back pocket. A small blade, given to her when this all started by her father.

  
_‘Go get Danielle and meet us at DC, they’re planning an evacuation. Protect yourself, and my granddaughter.’_

  
That all seemed so long ago.

  
“We almost made it, baby,” Auren whimpered, looking back down to her daughter with tear streaked eyes. “We were so close.” She stared down into those green eyes, the life now faded from them, slowly glossing over. She had to do it soon.

  
With a flick of her wrist, the blade folded out. Her free hand moved to the child’s shoulder, holding her down and steady as she placed the blade just at her temple. Make it quick, easy- painless (for herself). Her grip tightened on the holster, nails digging into her palms with anticipation. _This was all so fucked._

  
“Mommy loves you, so much.”

  
Danielle’s eyes met Auren’s.

  
The blade was forced into her skull.

 

* * *

 

**Day 632**

  
“Better keep a sharp eye on this one,” the man spoke, his lips close to Auren’s ear. She’s knelt between two bushes- crossbow in hand, among a row lining the edge of the trees just before an open field. It’s a cold morning, and a deer is grazing in the dew-covered grass. She doesn’t know she’s being watched. “I’ve been craving some venison for the past twenty miles.” He chuckles, a firm hand grasping at the woman’s- to which she physically winces.

  
He’s grabbed her there before- and the bruise has yet to heal.

  
The newcomer is a man named Marius. Tall, lean and fit- looking to be in his late thirties. His dark hair stands out against his pale skin, and he’s growing a pathetic attempt of a beard, more like a soul patch and four or five whiskers above his thin lips. He doesn’t look like much, but those blue eyes of his will tell you everything.

_Leader. Resilient. **Monster**._

  
As for Auren, she’s changed from the lovely Mother two years ago. Her hair’s much shorter, red locks cut into an uneven bob. She’s shed a bit of weight, still heavy-set but not nearly as much as she was before. Her eyes are still tired, even more so than before, but they could still pierce right through you.

  
The two have known each other for over a year now, meeting during a wild storm in the middle of summer. They had more people back then, a fine group of two men and three women, all heading for the capital in hopes the military was still there. They lost them all, first two in a surprise herd, and the rest in a bandit raid. The experience brought the two close, and well- they’re only human. But in truth, Marius got more out of this than Auren did. He wanted an outlet, and she needed protection (and sanity- one can only survive so long in isolation).

  
“You payin’ attention, baby girl?” He’s impatient.

  
“Keep it quiet- “She forces his grip off her, holding the bow steady.

  
But recently, things were tense. Every day was a new game of ‘what’ll set him off next?’ in which the grand prize was either a screaming match or a hard shove into the floor. Auren was always the winner.

The stag raised his mighty head, sniffing at the air. He’s suspicious, but doesn’t seem to catch on to how close they are. Marius grits his teeth, fists clenched.

  
“Now, shoot now.” He’s whispering with a harsh hiss. He makes a move towards her, and his foot causes a stir in the branches.

  
“Shh, you’ll give- “But it’s too late.

  
The stag’s hooves scurry under his weight, and he’s leaping across the field with a loud snort. Auren takes the shot anyway, and the bolt just barely misses his neck. Within seconds, he’s out of sight- into the trees.

  
“GODDAMNIT!” He kicks at their pack, sending it flying into the field as he stomps back into the wooded area, a hand running through his hair. A few more curses can be heard as he wanders deeper in. “Stupid, fucking- _fat bitch_.”

  
Auren watches him walk on, eyes narrowing as she lowers the crossbow, walking out to grab up the bag. “Fuckin’ asshole,” she mutters, running after him. “Don’t have a fit, we still have at least three days’ worth of foo- “

  
“We don’t got shit!” He snapped, turning back and making his way to her. His brisk steps caused Auren to take a few back herself. But her expression didn’t change- she still looked like she wanted to kick his ass. Didn’t faze him any, he thought she wouldn’t do it. “That deer was gonna last us another week- now we don’t have a week! All we got is guns and bullets and empty stomachs.”

  
The woman pauses, eyes narrowing up at Marius. “Wh- Woah, wait- “she begins, waving her hand to dismiss his statement as a lie. “Wait, I counted the rations four days ago, and we had enough to last the week, no- two weeks if we weren’t foolish.” Her hands rested upon her wide hips, shoulders back. “So, either someone’s stealing from us, or you---”

  
He cuts her off. “I think I’d know if someone was following us just to steal our food.”

  
“You admit to eating it all? Including my rations?!”

  
He pauses, mouth half open in rebuttal. But he closes it, lips pressed together with a small smirk. “You’re meaning to tell me that would’ve lasted us two weeks?”

  
She’s growing impatient. “We could starve out here, Marius! Look at what’s around you. All there is, is snow for miles! Who knows when we’ll come up on the next store! And I haven’t ate in two days!”

  
“Oh. Baby girl,” he begins, shaking his head with that same smile. “If anyone’s starving out here, it ain’t you. You got more meat on you than that stag you let get away.”

  
Now, she’s angry. “Fuck you!”

  
“Watch that mouth, b- “

  
_Bitch?_  
_Baby girl?_

  
“No, I’m done!” She throws down the bag, swiftly pointing a finger up at him. “It wouldn’t have got away if you weren’t so impatient. In fact, we wouldn’t be arguing over this if you hadn’t eaten all the fucking food!”

  
His jaw’s clenched, fists balling at his sides. “Baby girl, I wouldn’t be mad if you hadn’t taken that shot.” His voice is getting louder now, clearly angry.

  
She rolls her eyes, and he clearly shows a distaste in the action. “Whatever, I missed the shot, but you’ve endangered both of us because of your selfish actions!”

  
He grows quiet again, eyes cold as ice now, clearly contemplating something.

  
“You don’t care about anyone but yourself. Always about Marius, isn’t it?” Auren shakes her head, “You’re a real piece of shit, y’know? The world’s gone to hell and you have no concern for anyone but yourself. And then you insult the one person who’s stuck around because she misses a shot- which was YOUR fault!” She pauses, shaking back the tears of frustration. “You know what, why don’t you just go- “

  
There’s a loud whoosh of wind as Marius’ hand lands hard on her face, knocking her head to the right with a loud, echoing ‘SLAP--!’. Auren stumbles to keep her balance, eyes wide, mouth agape, in shock. A hand slowly rises to touch the side of her face. It’s hot, and a deep shade of red on her dark skin. Green, piercing eyes glare down the man, the tired expression they normally have fixed with one of rage.

  
_Not this time, asshole._

  
“You know I don’t like hittin’ on women,” he says after a moment of silence, his hand falling back to his side. “It’s uncivil, and not something a gentleman should do. But, in my defense, you said some pretty shitty things, and accused me of- “

  
He’s cut short by a tatted fist against his left cheek, sending him back into a tree. A sharp pain shoots through his jaw and up into his nose, to which he feels for any broken bones, or blood. Nothing now, but she got a good hit. “T-t-the fuck--!”

  
“FUCK YOU!” Her voice is a growl now, hands on his chest as she pushes him hard into the tree.

  
He’s quick, hands gripping her shoulders hard as he forces her back, attempting to push her to the ground. “You better stand down, baby girl. You ain’t no match for me.” Marius is caught off guard by another fist to the face, hands releasing her as she fights back. It’s over now, she’s finally beating him at this game.

  
But he’s just a bit too strong, and as she said, she hasn’t eaten in days. He pushes back, with force enough to get her off him. He takes advantage of this and sends a heavy fist into her gut, knocking the wind out of her sending Auren to the ground. A high pitched gasping sound leaves her, eyes watering with tears from the blow. Marius stumbles over, kicking her to her back and straddling her waist.

  
“What’d I say?” He snaps, sending a fist into her face, then holding her arms down just above her head. “Now, we can stop this, and forget it ever happened, if you just say sorry, and give me a big ol’ kiss in forgiveness.” He gives that good old Marius grin, leaning in with a whisper. “Hell, maybe I’ll even fuck ya for being such a good girl- “

  
She hocks a giant wad of spit into his face, and instinctively his hands reach up. Auren puts all of her weight into a final shove, sending him back hard as she straddles him now. No words, only anger. She’s so mad she could kill him. It’s foolish, but she doesn’t hesitate to send fists into his face. She planned to stop eventually, maybe if he passed out. But he had other plans, hands reaching down against her leg and for the dagger she kept back there. It’s a quick, messy swipe on Marius’ part, and he meant to go for her throat. Instead, he slides the blade across her face, leaving a nasty, gaping mess in its path.

  
_The same one she used on Danielle, how poetic._

  
Auren’s sent into a state of shock, hands now reaching to clutch at her face. She can feel the warm liquids pouring from the wounds, down into her agape mouth (the bitter, iron-like taste) and her neck. Marius gives a heavy shove and she’s off him, and onto the ground, still grabbing her face.

  
“Hoped that would’ve killed you.” He sounds disappointed, looking at the knife before wiping the blood off on his jeans, slipping it into his back pocket. “God, you promise a woman forgiveness, a kiss, and a fuck- and she still acts like a spoiled bitch.” He chuckles, rubbing his thumb over his jaw. He’d be bruised for a few weeks.

  
“Oh well, guess the dead fuckers’ll get you soon enough. He walks over, grabbing up the pack she’d carried. All Auren sees is his boots as he stands in front of her. Her eyes wander upwards and meet his. She’s still in shock, and slowly losing consciousness.

  
“M-Mm- “She stutters, hands shaking, now drenched with blood. He kneels, gripping her face hard in his hand, turning her head to face him.

  
“It’s been fun, baby girl… Wish we could’ve had more time together.”

  
The last thing she sees is him walking away, pulling a granola bar from his pocket.

  
She passes out.


	2. The Last Shot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we find a familar face. I’ve decided to go with the ending where Clementine and AJ go off on their own, leaving Kenny behind. I’d like to touch on the fact that Kenny struggles with his mental health and is working towards recovery. Hope you like it!

Day 890

There’s a fresh pile of snow this morning, covering the roads and fields. The trees are long dead, most sagging with the weight of the night’s dusting, others simply fallen over, rotted to the core. It’s quiet, somber, and everything’s a depressing shade of grey. There’s a long river just a mile ahead, surrounded by more dead trees, and tracks leading out from it and across the road. Of course, there’s plenty of tracks where the dead have wandered, and even tiny woodland creatures, scattering and digging for food just under the snow. But these tracks, they’re human, alive.

Auren crunches across the frozen ground in pursuit of whoever made these tracks. In the two hundred or so days since her- _beloved’s departure_ -the woman has grown a tad less plump, her hair a bit shaggier, and a well pronounced scar has formed across her face, broken into three pieces just below her eyes.

_‘Hope that would’ve killed you.’_

She’s been alone for the most part, seeing a few groups here and there, but never letting anyone stay. Not after Marius. Figure it’s safer to travel alone anyways. So, upon spotting the tracks, the woman had half a mind to turn heel and run. But curiosity pushed her, and she needed to refill her water supply anyways. The melted ice made for some of the best fresh water, and the sun had been out for a few hours at this point. Pulling her gloves off, Auren reached a hand back to her pack, tugging the bottles down and in front of her. She had five, all tied neatly along a rope for efficient travel. The river was just in sight between the shrubs and branches, and she can hear the trickling of water along the edge. Her head ducks as she wades her way through the trees slowly. She’s attentive not to make a sound, green eyes (still just as tired, but lively) scan the waterfront and settle just to the left, along the coast line.

A figure, a man. Just within walking distance, sitting among some dead blades of grass. His head bowed, turned away from her so she can’t get a good look at his face. She knows it’s not Marius- the stranger’s hair is dark, but far too grey. He’s wearing a green jacket that seems just a size or two too big for him, slightly torn and dirty, and a brown cap. Last, she remembered, Marius was wearing a brown jacket and grey hoodie underneath, of course that was so long ago. The one difference she could tell from here, was a very bushy beard. No, not him. But- just who was this stranger, and what was he doing?

Her feet are light as she steps closer, lowering to a crouch, hoping the running water muffled her sounds. He’s holding something, fidgeting with it in his hands. She gets closer, just enough to see what it is, a gun. Auren’s brows press closer against her forehead, wondering what he was doing out here- all alone. He stops fidgeting, taking the weapon in one hand, and turning the barrel towards himself. _He isn’t-_

There’s a rustle in the brush next to her, and a growl, long bony fingers reaching out for her. One of the dead- their teeth chomping at the air, waiting for part of her to sink into. Auren’s caught by surprise, and can’t help but scream as she jumps out the trees, attempting to create a distance between her and the walker. But she’s just not fast enough, and the corpse grabs at her again, this time catching her jacket and sending her tumbling.

During the commotion, she sees the man lift himself from the ground, turning towards them. She tries to get to her feet, turning on her back as she scurries away from the walker. The creature is quick however, grabbing at her legs and pulling closer with that guttural growl. His eyes are hollow, staring into her soul, teeth- yellow and stained with the blood of its previous kills. She tries to kick him off, her boot contacting his hands, and finally his face. It lets go, but doesn’t stop its hungry pursuit, groaning and clawing at the snow. She’s trying to grab her knife, but can’t seem to catch a break until-

The stranger puts the gun to the walker’s head and fires, sending the dead’s brains out one end and onto the snowy riverbank. The shot rings out, echoing in her head as she tries to regain her composure. She’s breathing hard, heart pounding against her chest, like she’s had a panic attack. Auren can feel her eyes burning with tears, but she pushes them back, looking up to him.

He’s clearly angry, glaring down at her with his one, dark eye. Well, she assumes he only has one, the other is covered with a dirty, bloodied bandage. In fact, the left side of his face is bloody as well. It- must be a fresh wound, looked like it hurt like hell. He looks to be probably ten or fifteen years older than Auren- who guessed she was thirty by now. A tall man, but of course everyone was taller than her. And sturdy too.

“I- “She begins, finally gaining enough composure to talk.

But he doesn’t wait for her to finish, checking the clip of the pistol before tossing it to the ground with an annoyed scoff. He turns from her, wandering back to the side of the lake and plopping in the same spot. His hands rest on his knees, head lowering back to the same position he was in before.

Her eyes follow, then back down to the gun. Saving that last shot, was he? Now fully calm, she shifts to her knees, eyes never leaving him. _So that’s it?_

“… Thank you.” No response.

Well, she still needs to get her water. Auren rises to her feet, grabbing up the string of bottles and walking to the edge of the river. She feels his eyes on her, kneeling at the riverbank. She opens one of the empty bottles and slides it into the stream, letting the water fill as her eyes wander. The river is wide across, and seems to stretch for miles, winding up the hills and over the horizon. She concludes she’ll follow it, thinking anything she could hunt would be coming down for a drink at any-

_“FUCKIN’ GOD DAMMIT---!”_

The sudden noise takes her away from her thoughts and back to reality, turning back to see what’s wrong. It’s him, holding his hand against the patch, blood dripping from his fingertips. He must’ve picked at it, and got it to bleeding again. His eye is closed tight, face contorted into a painful expression, teeth gritted.

She sighs, tightening the lid on the now full water bottle and setting it aside. She pulls her backpack from her shoulders, unzipping the largest compartment and rummaging through her things. The woman could’ve sworn she still had some of her medicine left- since she only just fully healed her own scar. Her fingers touch a piece of fabric and she knows she’s found it. He’s watching her as she pulls out the bottle of hydrogen peroxide, along with some torn pieces of shirts. She looks back, standing back up and walking to his side. His eye never leaves her, looking up from his spot.

“The fuck’s that for?” He asks, his voice rough with a deep, Southern accent.

_Oh, he knows what it’s for._

“If you let that bleed any more, it could get infected.” Auren extends the supplies down to him, tilting her head. “You should clean it.”

“It ain’t infected. I’ve cleaned it before.”

“How long ago was that?”

He’s quiet, and honestly can’t remember. He looks away, but not before taking the bottle and rags from her. She only nods, and turns around to make her way back to the backpack.

She begins to fill a second bottle, turning to look back up the river, catching him in her peripheral. He’s just staring at the medicine, then at the rags, then back to the bottle. Auren looks away and sighs, closing her eyes. She imagines he knows it’ll hurt like the devil, and probably doesn’t want to do it himself.

“Do you need help?” She asks.

“No.” He responds bluntly, but he doesn’t sound sure.

“I can clean it for you, it’ll be easier for me to see- “

“I said no!” His voice is louder that time, and she physically flinches, almost dropping the bottles. Not his fault- she was just- reminded of someone.

She looks at him directly now, and his expression softens. He lowers the supplies to his lap, giving a heavy sigh, resting his shoulders.

She looks away. He’s quiet for some time, enough for her to finish off the second bottle, and the third. “I… Guess it’ll be easier with two eyes, anyways.” His voice is softer this time when he talks to her, clearly reading her face.

Auren nods, setting the waters in her pack and dragging it to his side. She settles on her knees in front of him, taking the medicine and the rags from his lap. “I won’t take too long.” Her voice is quiet as well, hoping she can calm him down further. This won’t be pretty, and she doesn’t need him having a fit. “Hopefully I still have some bandages left.”

He doesn’t say anything, removing his cap and setting it in his lap. His neck cranes forward, reaching a hand up to push the few strands of hair out of his eye. Then, he removes the bandages, exposing the wound he’d received not so long ago. Auren swallows hard, visibly shaken by the sight. The skin under the patch was a mix of deep reds and purples against his light complexion, his eyelid barely hanging open (he probably can’t fully close it). Trails of blood seeped from various cuts crawling from his cheekbone to his nose.

“Jesus,” she says, head shaking in disbelief. “Your eye socket looks broken to shit. Did you take a brick to the face?”

It’s a tender subject, obvious by how his face contorts and his one good eye closes. She doesn’t continue.

Tatted fingers twist the bottle open, then tip it over to pour the contents onto one of the tattered pieces of cloth. She makes sure to get it nice and soaked before replacing the cap and returning it to her pack. “I don’t have to tell you how bad this’ll hurt, do I? Because- it’s gonna hurt bad.”

He shakes his head, eyes open now but avoiding eye contact. “Just make it quick.”

Easier said than done.

“Okay, well… You’d better hold still, then.”

No response. She sighs.

She extends the medicine forward with every intention of pressing it to his wounds, and he flinches back. It’s clear he’s not comfortable with this, but she knows it won’t heal if he doesn’t clean it. Auren sits back, looking down for a moment. She sees his fists balled up against his knees, nails digging into his palms, leaving little white marks against the rosy flesh. Patiently, she holds her free hand out to the older man, offering a bit of comfort for the pain to come. He looks down at it, his eye narrowed and a brow raised. The offer sits for a while before he takes her hand in his, looking back to the rag with a grumble.

_Just do it, already._

She gives no response to this, only eases in with the rag, pressing the soaked tip to a particularly nasty cut. As expected, he moans in agony, giving her clasped hand a good, firm squeeze. But he doesn’t move, and he allows her to wipe the blood from his face, cleaning one open cut after another. She stops after cleaning most of it, pulling both hands away to add more medicine to the rag.

“I’ll give you a bit of a breather. It doesn’t look half as bad once you get the blood out the way.”

“Still looks like I got my fuckin’ face beat in, don’t it?”

Auren paused and glances in his direction, making eye contact. “Well, plastic surgery wasn’t my forte before the world went to shit, so yes.” She smiles at him.

He doesn’t smile back, but gives a huff of amusement.

“Besides,” she continued, setting the medicine down once she had a fresh coat on the rag. “It makes you look tough, bet a lot of people don’t want to mess with you, eh?” She offers her hand again, he accepts, and goes on with her cleaning.

“You can say that.” He goes quiet again. Clearly, there’s another meaning to that for him.

She finishes cleaning his wounds in silence, sitting back on her heels to admire her handy work. “There, now about those bandages- “ Auren slides the medicine in her pack, tossing the cloth down by the river, no use for it now.

“That scar on your face why ya have all this?” He asks, watching her dig around in the bag.

Her brows press inward, clear discomfort over her face. “Yeah.” A pause, finding the gauze and bandages wrapped neatly under her granola bars. She knew they were down there. “A mean son of a bitch did this to me.” Her voice is cold as ice at that moment, cursing Marius to hell in the back of her mind. She did it at least three times a day now.

“You and I both,” he responds, and she looks back. She nods, and hands him the gauze. He knows where it goes, holding it over his bad eye, still sore, but feeling much better. She begins to wrap his head, tucking the bandages behind his ears and securing it firmly in place.

“My name’s Auren,” says she, sitting back to admire her handy work. It’ll do, she repeats in her head.

“Auren.” He repeats to himself, sliding his cap back in place on his head. “I’m Kenny. And uh, thanks. Fer, y’know, fixin’ my face.”

She smiles, placing the remaining bandages back, and pulling out a pair of granola bars. “You’re welcome, Kenny. It’s really the least I can do, since you used your last bullet on that dead guy.” She extends a bar to him, and he happily takes it. It’s been at least two days since he’s eaten anything, after all. “So, you headed North too? Heard about that sanctuary Wellington?”

“That ain’t nothin’ but a fantasy dream,” he replies, tearing the wrapper off the bar and taking a bite. He didn’t know for sure, but you can only hold on to hope for so long when everyone else is determined you’re wrong. “Besides, can’t tell which ways North anymore. Fer all I know, I’m headin’ South again.”

Auren shrugs, looking down at her bar. Guess he was right. A place, safe from these walkers? Too good to be true. “Well, the sun rises in the East, so it’s left of that,” she assures him, taking a bite of her unwrapped bar as well. “Anyways, you been alone all this time?”

He takes another bite, slowly chewing as he turns the question over in his head. His one eye is filled with sorrow, something deep inside clawing at him. “No, I had a few groups. Good ones too, but- “ Kenny pauses, looking back up at her. “They’re all gone now. Probably, dead ’er -better off without me.”

It’s a tender subject, she can tell. Guess everyone’s struggled and been abandoned in times like these. “Me too,” replies Auren, taking another bite, finding a hard spot, chewing with a bit more force.

They both go quiet as they finish their granola, tossing the wrappings to the side once finished. Another minute or two goes by before Auren breaks the silence.

“I, uh, guess I should be heading on. Gotta get these bottles filled, and all.” Kenny looks at her, but doesn’t respond. She stands, and he stays in place.

It’s not like Kenny had any idea where he was going- or what he was doing now, since he didn’t really expect himself to make it this far, but all he could do was keep going forward. Maybe head somewhere warmer? Maybe, try for that fantasy… He looked back at Auren, who was now at the river, filling her remaining bottles so she could be on her way.

_It was safer in groups._

But were either of them prepared to try that again? Kenny believed something was very wrong with him, and Auren wasn’t so sure he wouldn’t turn on her when things became rough. This world was cruel, and lonely. And neither of them were sure they’d make it on their own for much longer.

Kenny shuffles to his feet, walking over to take the now empty pistol and holstering it in his back pocket. He makes his way to her, and is met by her head turning up to him. She’s curious now.

“Uh,” he begins, one hand moving to rub at his neck awkwardly. “I don’t really have any kind of medical supplies to help take care of this and- well, it might be easier to have a second pair of eyes to doctor it anyways. So, if- yer headin’ up stream, maybe I could tag along for a bit?”

She wanted to say no, like the multiple times she had before. A voice in the back of her mind was screaming-

**_MARIUS MARIUS MARIUS_ **

But it was quieter now, drowned out by the simple fact that he helped her. And she knew, Marius would never have done the same. Auren finishes the last bottle, twisting it closed and tying them to her pack.

“Guess you’ll need some help with that, and- protection since I wasted your last bullet, yeah?” She smiles.

_It’s a good start._

He smiles back. “Yeah.”


	3. In Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some good ol'fashioned nightmares to get the blood pumping. And Auren can relate.

“You’re… Dangerous, Kenny.”

The blizzard had softened to a steady snowfall, a silence falling over the grim rest stop. Clementine’s eyes drift from the man in front of her, to the fallen sign, and she can see Jane. The knife in her chest nailing her to the ground. AJ was alive.

“You’re- you’re right Clem,” His remaining eye drifts from her face, looking off into the distance. “But… I’m trying to change.” Kenny tries to assure her, anything to make her feel better. “I’m working on it. Something- broke inside me. Long time ago. And I’ve just been trying to hold it together.” He shakes his head, contemplating if he believes his own words. “But- I’m doing my best.”

Kenny can tell this isn’t easy for her- he can see the tears forming in the child’s eyes. He could see fear. She feared him. Seemed like just yesterday those same eyes were full of love. Where did yesterday go?

“I’m leaving.”

The words hit him like a freight train, and his heart dropped.

“Clem, please- “He shakes his head, stepping closer. She steps back.

“I don’t wanna go, “She’s shaking her head too, choking back a sob. “But- I have to.”

Kenny frowns, his remaining eye drifting to his hands, soaked in blood. She had to, he knew that. “Take AJ with you. He deserves a chance.” He shakes his head, then makes eye contact with the girl. “He’ll have a better shot with you.”

She knows that, clutching the infant to her chest. But she’s hesitant.

“Go on… Take him.”

Clementine sobs silently. “… Okay.”

He couldn’t tell her enough- the time seemed to move by so fast. How glad he was to meet her, to protect her. To raise AJ right, tell him about those who loved him, and who sacrificed for him. Oh, how Kenny wished it didn’t end this way. She was right, like she always was.

“I ain’t fit to care for y’all anymore…”

They share one last hug, and he sends her off into Winter’s grasp. She walks away, head hung low to protect the baby from the cold winds. He can hear AJ whimpering in protest, and calls out to the child. “Shh-shh, “He hushes the baby, and Clementine turns her head back. Her face is stained from crying. He holds back a sob. “D-Don’t fret, little guy. Big Sis is gonna take care of ‘ya.” Kenny gives her one last smile. No response, she just turns away and walks. Into the winds, the snow- the wilderness. All alone. He knows she’ll make it. She did before. Kenny watches on as time passes, and eventually he can no longer see her on the horizon. And once more, he’s alone.

“Maybe I deserve this, “He speaks aloud to no one, arms folding against his chest for warmth, hands rubbing along his upper arms. After all, he let that boy die for his own. Killed a man without giving him a chance. And countless other things, he knew no man should ever do. “No peace, no rest…”

“Jesus Christ, I am so sick of this wounded warrior crap!”

Breaking the silence, Kenny’s head jerks in the direction of the foreign voice. Everything seems to stop around him as his eye widens in fear. It’s Jane, standing just across from him. His eye drifts to the spot she once lay, and it’s empty- aside from a pool of her blood. Her eyes are full of anger- and bloodshot. Everything about her shows no signs of the change, and the only jarring sight is the knife- still stuck straight through her heart. “J-Jane!”

“You know the thing about people like you, Kenny?” She takes a step, her foot dragging in the snow. Her entire body jerks with that single step, and she takes another. “You’re just a bomb waiting to go off.” She takes a few more jagged steps, and Kenny tries his best to back away. But his body falls into the car behind him, a hand gripping the side to keep himself steady.

“N-No. That- that ain’t true!” Kenny shakes his head, voice cracking. He’s still in disbelief that she’s even there- this must be in his head.

_Kenny?_

“Everyone talks about you behind your back because they’re afraid of you!” She’s screaming, her voice growing louder and louder with each step. Her words were ringing in his head, like someone firing a gun right by your ear.

“S-stop it. That ain’t- “

“MIKE!” One step closer. _“BONNIE!”_ Two steps. **_“SARITA!”_**  She’s right next to him, forcing him against the car.

_Ken-_

His heart’s beating his chest, pounding in his head as he tries to catch his breath. “No. No, you’re fuckin’ wrong-“

_“EVERYONE AROUND YOU KNOWS THAT SOONER OR LATER, THEY’RE GONNA END UP DEAD_!” He can feel the handle of the knife against his chest, his one eye staring into hers. “Sarita knew it! I know it!” She leans back, pulling the knife from her chest. **_“AND SO DID CLEMENTINE!”_** Kenny has no time to react as Jane throws her weight into a swing- stabbing the knife right into his chest.

“Kenny!”

His eye flies open as he jumps back in a fit of fury, tossing the cover off and getting to his feet. _“DON’T FUCKIN’ TOUCH ME--!”_ His back slams into a wall and he grabs for his chest. There’s no knife- no entry wound. He’s fine. But he feels his heart pounding in his head still, breathing heavily as he remembers where he is.

It’s a shed- a crappy little thing, but it kept the wind out. There’s a small fire in the middle of it, dying down but giving light. Just enough to see Auren- back pressed against the opposite side of the shed, once tired eyes now wide with fear. She’s breathing hard, her chest rising in falling with each huff passing through her parted lips. She’s practically in a ball, one hand hugging her knees close while the other is at her ankle, gripping the handle of a dagger.

_She’s afraid of him._

Kenny feels of his chest once more. He takes a few long, deep breaths before sinking back to the floor, his head resting in his hand. “Jesus- “His thumb rolls against a closed eyelid, rubbing away any hints of that _-nightmare_.

Auren released the knife, legs sliding back to cross in front of her. She’s leaning forward now, inspecting him closer before speaking out. “You… You okay?” That must’ve been one hell of a dream.

It takes him a minute to reply, placing his hands in his lap with a soft “-Yeah.” Kenny looks back at her, tired, and full of regret. “Uh- I… I’m really-“

“You don’t have to say anything,” she replies, cutting him short. “I shouldn’t have tried to wake you.” She nods, eyes closing as her feet tuck into the covers, settling back into her sleeping bag. Everyone was dealing with their own shit these days, some more than others. She didn’t have nightmares anymore, but she could remember waking up- heart racing and screaming. Like he did. Auren only hoped this wouldn’t be a common thing.

It’s only been a few days since their first encounter, can’t truly know a person in such a short amount of time.

His brow presses against the bandages. “No, no. I would’ve done the same thing.” He shakes his head, shifting his weight and relaxing atop the tattered mat. That look she had- it was sobering. It reminded him of Clementine, when he’d nearly beat that poor boy to death. All she wanted was for it to stop, and-

_They’re afraid of you!_

He physically flinches, his one dark eye pressed shut. Part of him wishes Auren had never met him that day. Seems fate had a different idea though, and you don’t waste second chances. “…I’m sorry I scared you.”

Auren turns on her back, staring up at the decaying ceiling of their shelter. Her mind kept wandering back to all the mistakes she’d made around Marius. How he’d blow up over the smallest thing- yell at her, maybe even hit her. _Or even try to kill her._ Never an ‘I’m sorry’. “It’s okay,” says she, head tilting to look to him just over the dying light. “Thank you.”

Kenny stares back, only nodding in response. Things had to get better, he wouldn’t let himself become what Jane thought he was. What everyone thought he was. He had to make things right, and maybe- it all started with that apology.

“We still got a few hours of night left, better get as much rest as we can.” Auren turns on her side, tucking an arm under her head. “I’m pretty sure there’s a little town just on the other side of these trees. Maybe we can make it there in the morning.”

“Maybe,” he repeats, sitting back up. “I think- I’m just gonna sit here, though. I ain’t too sure I can get anymore sleep tonight. You go ahead. Just- call this my night watch shift.” A hand reaches up to scratch at his beard, running along the unruly edges. If he was lucky, they’d find a pair of scissors to trim that thing.

“Ah, I appreciate that.” A yawn escapes, followed by a sudden heaviness of her eyelids. She couldn’t fight the sleep overcoming, settling into the warmth of her tattered bag and slowly drifting off. The flames dance along her dark skin for just a moment before finally dying out, leaving the older man in the moonlight just barely peeking through the shed.

He’s tired, but unsure if he could even fall asleep after all that. Images of Clementine and AJ were burned into his eyelids- walking away into the nothing. It was all he had of the past, the ounce of motivation he stuck to. And even if they were gone, he owed it to those kids to try and make things better.

**Day 300**

The sun was out today, its rays piercing through the shield of dead trees and onto snow covered grounds. Their rotting shed looked even more homely in the daytime, but it served its purposed and in a matter of minutes they were on their way. Kenny had heard a few groans and footsteps just before the dawn, which was made clear by a new set of footprints. The tracks made their way past the shed, and further into the thick of the trees.

Auren’s eyes followed the tracks, then looked to Kenny with a confident smile. “Luckily we’re headed the other way. No need to waste our energy on this one.” She turned on her heel and headed towards the opening just ahead. “Guess the sun thawed them all out, yeah?”

Kenny’s eye followed her ‘til she was out of his eyesight, then he followed suit. He said nothing, still recovering from last night’s episode. It was all a dream, but even then, he could feel a pressure against his chest. Like something sitting on top of him _\- or a knife in his heart_.  

Her head turned back, looking for a response, but only finding him lost in thought. Or so she assumed- he was looking down to his feet but didn’t seemed to be paying much attention to where he was going. “We need to be prepared for any intruders in town. I can bet we’re not the only ones heading there. Probably all picked over anyways, but it never hurts to look, right?”

This time he at least nodded, but he wasn’t really listening. Kenny’s brows pressed together, a look of misery over his face. He really was a bomb, wasn’t he? Ready to go off at any minute- always jumping to anger, to violence. It was part of him, and now that the world was over- his world was over, it just came out more and more.

She continued looking back, until one step forward sunk her leg down in the soft snow. It was up to her knee, must’ve been a drop. Auren pulled herself from the hole, stepping back and feeling for a more solid path. No such luck, but she noticed Kenny not stopping. “Hey- there’s a deep end here, watch your step. “

\---Like a primal need to keep those he cared about close to him, and under his wing. But in doing so, he was smothering them all. He didn’t deserve them, he didn’t deserve anything.

_But a bullet to the head._

“Watch it!”

A couple more steps forward and Kenny sank into the snow. It went up to his knees and he fell the rest of the way- face first into a dust of white. And with that, he was back to reality- and it was cold.

Auren’s hands went straight for her mouth, in both shock and amusement. She stifled a chuckle, clearing her throat and waddling her way to him, sinking to her knees with a small yelp. “Didn’t you hear me? I said watch your step.” Her hand moved to his back, patting it to make sure he was listening that time.

Kenny tried to lift himself back up, propping his hands into the snow only to have them sink when he put his weight into them. He eventually got it, brushing off his face and beard with an annoyed grunt. He caught himself glaring at her, looking away with a small sight. “Guess I’m still a little tired, is all.”

“I bet, you only got about an hour or so of sleep last night,” replied she, pulling herself up and out of her own hole to climb to the stable ground. She reached out and took his head, helping him back. “Must’ve been some scary dream to keep you up like that all night.”

He didn’t respond, only nodded some thanks as he stumbled to his feet, brushing the rest of the snow off his torso. Scary wasn’t a strong enough word, in his opinion.

“You- You want to talk about it?”

Kenny looked down to her, taking note of her invitation. Her eyes were worried, and her frown said the same. And for a moment, he felt vulnerable enough to say yes. Maybe it would help to get it off his chest. But he couldn’t. She barely knew him, and- well, no one deserved to hear him whine about how horrible life was for him. No one wanted to hear his ‘wounded warrior crap’.

_Fuck you, Jane._

He shook his head. “It ain’t nothin’ you should worry yourself over.” The side of his mouth curls into a half smile, and he looks to the hole he sunk in. “Guess we’d better find a different way down.” He dismisses the conversation and steps forward, past her and along the sturdy path.

She seems disappointed, eyes following him, passing by and further on. All Auren can do is follow, tugging her pack tighter on her shoulders with a small sigh. There’s a long pause before she responds. “I had them too, y’know?” There’s a sound of assurance in her voice, and Kenny stops. “It used to be so bad, I’d wake up crying and- scared. Like- the monsters were still trying to get me. Like he was- right there.” She scratched at her scar- which tingled at the very thought.

_Marius._

Kenny turns his head back, his bandaged eye facing her. He wasn’t blind, and often wondered just how she got that scar. Something bad must’ve happened to her too. Someone bad must’ve hurt her. No one’s free from the grips of tragedy in this wreck of a world. And Auren was reaching out, trying to help. He wasn’t ready just yet…

His mouth parts to say something, despite his hesitation. “How long ‘til they stopped?”

Auren slowly caught up, turning to meet his gaze. “Few weeks, maybe a month. But that was just the- waking up crying. I- still have bad dreams, but I’ve learned to live with them. They’re not real.” She nods, offering a half smile. “You will too, in time.”

He continued to stare at her with no response, and she turned away with a sigh.

“Maybe there’s a way around this just up ahead, can’t hurt to try, right?”

The two made their way through the trees, eventually finding a way around and closer to a cluster of buildings just along the horizon.

 


End file.
